• Nicola Shelley

Looking back and then forwards - 2019 into 2020

Updated: Nov 26, 2019


Janus the Roman God looking back at the old year as well as into the new

Do you ever feel that the year just flies by and before you know it New Year’s Eve is upon you?


And whoosh!


That’s it.


Gone.



Assuming you are of the mind that a new year can bring a new start, then perhaps you might like to think about the old year (hey – the last decade if you wish), before racing headlong into the new one.


Something that I have felt strongly about for a long time is leaving well. Whether it’s a job, relationship, house or even country. There is a huge importance in saying goodbye. Not in a soggy heap of tears and tissues, (honestly I’ve done plenty of those), but in a way that acknowledges all that you have experienced and learnt.


It’s actually worth doing this before you look ahead, because there may be things you want to bring with you. And some things you feel are no longer serving you well.


There is a huge importance in saying goodbye - in a way that acknowledges all that you have experienced and learnt.


A little bit more on the subject of leaving well – my personal take.


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Some of you may be aware that I spent 16 wonderful years working overseas in Asia. When I left Singapore, 9 years ago, to return to England, I was lucky enough to take part in a workshop about leaving well. It talked about building a RAFT


In the weeks up to my leaving I was encouraged to think about:

  • Reconciliation

  • Affirmation

  • Farewell

  • Think new destination



Reconciliation was about making peace and leaving on good terms. To be honest, it was always a big part of who I was to get on with all people and I thrive best in a friendly and amicable environment. However, there were places and relationships that were more of a challenge. Reconciliation here means go and make peace with them – even if to say;

'It was a challenge at times, but I wish you well.'


Affirmation Thank the people you have met, for their friendship, advice, warmth, humour or inspiration. Leave a note if you find it hard to do so face to face.


Farewell. Say your goodbyes, however tearful. Say them. And – yes this might sound a bit woo woo – go and thank and acknowledge the places you have been too.

  • Good meetings happened here!

  • I met my close friend here.

  • This place gave me peace and calm when I needed it.

It also means go to that leaving party, that you don't really fancy. Allow people to say goodbye to you and share a memory. In an ex-pat community with so much coming and going this was really important.


Think new destination. Acknowledge that things are going to change and be different. There may be things you are looking forward to and some you are not. If this causes you any worry just accept it is neither good nor bad for now – it just is.

Was I a soggy mess of tears and tissues when leaving the wonderful Tanglin School? Yep. Dreadful. But I had built my raft and knew that I had left well and on good terms.


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So where does 2019 leave you? Are you hurtling into 2020 without a chance to reflect back on the old year? Would you like to join me and spend a couple of hours reflecting on the year?

Great, because I’m running a short workshop on:


Saturday 7th December - 10am – midday at Elmgrove Road, Redland. Bristol


It’s FREE! Yes! It’s FREE! But… you MUST book your place, as it is limited to 8 people

Contact me to book your place.


Of course I am running a looking forward and goal setting workshop in January too! Want to join me on that as well? Save the date: Saturday 11 January 2020 - 10 am - midday


t: 07501817739

e: nicolashelleycoach@gmail.com

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© Copyright 2016 Nicola Shelley