• Nicola Shelley

Yo-Yos, Roller Coasters and N.L.P.

Updated: Mar 30

N.B. This blog is for any of us who are finding life a challenge in lockdown or self isolation. It is not for anyone who is genuinely worried about the life of a family member or friend affected by the coronavirus.



Hello. How are you? Odd times eh? Unprecedented? Several of the conversations I've had recently have gone like this:


'I had a complete meltdown yesterday and now I'm feeling OK.'


'Today OK. Yesterday dreadful.'


'Up and down like a flipping yo yo.'


'Just getting my head around the new normal.'


'Frightening, revelatory and full of opportunity.'


'I'm looking at the positives'

(Honestly, sometimes I shudder a bit at this. I mean there are huge positives- see here for BBC article. However it does require a HUGE amount of self management and knowledge at all times. )






And my own take:


'Fluctuating between sanguine, WTAF and aren’t the flowers and birdsong beautiful.'


Many of us are sleeping more, eating more and drinking more. Some of us are working even harder than ever. Thank you, thank you N.H.S. staff and all the teachers, and key workers out there keeping us clean, safe and stocked up. X


Some of us may feel delighted to have more time at home with loved ones; we've never seen so much of each other. What will it be like when things go back to normal(ish) and we aren't at home so much? Will we miss each other then?


On the other hand.... HOW MUCH BLOODY LONGER WILL THIS LAST? DO I REALLY HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU ALL DAY LONG?



Yes, it's like this isn't it?









The 'permission slip' is a hugely empowering tool, that allows release and then the possibility of a plan.


All of this suggests that it is normal to feel extremes of ups and downs and actually saying it out loud is quite important. In coaching, the 'permission slip' is a hugely empowering tool, that allows release and then the possibility of a plan.


So in the midst of these thoughts where can N.L.P. help? Using one of my favourite definitions of what N.L.P. is all about, 'How are you doing what you are doing and is working?' seems a good place to start.



How are you doing lockdown/self isolation and is it working?


1. If your first thought is anxiety what are you doing to 'be anxious?'

  • Breathing differently?

  • Repeating ideas over and over?

  • Projecting gloomy thoughts into the future?

  • Arguing more?

  • Being cross and impatient?

  • Tearful?

  • Reading and watching continuous news?


What can help here is to acknowledge the feeling and then step away from it. Imagine it on a large screen in front of you. It's not in you any more. It's moved. As the expert in your own life, what words of wisdom can you offer? What prior experience can you bring to reduce the anxiety?

If the sense is overwhelming, think small. Really small. You're looking to reduce the anxiety by 10% or less. Count that as a win.



To counter balance:

How are you doing lockdown/self isolation and is it working?


2. Enjoying some down time. What are you doing to enjoy some down time?

  • Sleeping a bit later

  • Speaking to more friends and relatives

  • Gardening/house maintenance

  • Noticing my surroundings (bird song is loud!)

  • Eating and drinking a bit more

  • Reading books, watching some great box sets!

  • Learning a new skill

  • Exercising


Whatever you are doing, I hope you can use this as a chance to look after yourself, take stock and stay well.





Need to talk? Getting stuff off your chest with someone objective can be a real help. Get in touch. All my coaching sessions will be done by Skype


t: 07501817739

e: nicolashelleycoach@gmail.com

Skype: Nicola Shelley with this logo










0 views

© Copyright 2016 Nicola Shelley